


Hub City and Other Drabbles

by jesileigh



Category: Arrow - Fandom
Genre: Comfort, Drunken Shenanigans, F/M, Father/Daughter, Fluff, Future Fic, Gen, Missing Scenes, Post Season 4, season 4
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-30
Updated: 2016-05-30
Packaged: 2018-07-11 02:31:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,351
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7023130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jesileigh/pseuds/jesileigh
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ch. 1: Missing scenes from episode 4x20: Genesis. What may have happened between Oliver and Felicity when she accompanied him to Hub City. </p><p>Ch. 2: A week after the finale, Oliver and Felicity finally have a moment to come to terms with how they're coping in the aftermath of defeating Darhk and saving the world. </p><p>Ch 3: Oliver and Felicity are engaged again and Felicity has a pressing question for Quentin Lance before the wedding.</p><p>Ch 4: Whiskey-Drunk-Felicity however? Whiskey-Drunk-Felicity was angry. She was stuck on Loud Voice Mode and her ‘fracks’ turned to ‘fucks’. Oliver was legitimately scared shitless of Whiskey-Drunk-Felicity; all five and a half feet, one hundred pounds of her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

"I'm coming with you," Felicity said with finality to Oliver's retreating back.  
"Felicity—" he attempted futilely, already knowing it wasn't worth arguing. He'd been engaged to this woman, after all. He knew better than to assume she'd change her mind with enough pleading.  
"Just because we aren't together doesn't mean you have to do this alone," She said gently. Oliver sighed. "And I've already chartered the company jet, Mr. Dennis is furious, and I booked us a room—rooms—" she emphasized. "With points."  
"Should I even try and talk you out of this?" He asked without conviction, already knowing the answer to his pointless question.  
"No." She said with a grin. "You met my mother. Same DNA." With that she strolled right past him, leaving him to shake his head at her antics before following her out of the bunker.

The first part of their journey was shrouded in a tense and polite silence. Oliver sat on one side of the plane, staring out the small port window at the darkness below, specked with yellow lights here and there. Hub City wasn't far by air, but the palpable tension between he and his travel mate made it feel a lot longer than an hour. Felicity, meanwhile, was seated near the front of the vessel, typing away furiously on her tablet. Answering emails and tending to CEO business, no doubt, Oliver thought as his eyes lingered on her for a moment too long. She looked up just in time to catch his gaze and he hastily busied himself with looking out the window into the abyss again.

Upon landing they were greeted with a rental car and they loaded their bags into the trunk, shoulder to shoulder, before buckling into the front seats and starting off to the hotel Felicity had booked them. Now it was her turn to stare out the window, her mind racing to find any answer to the problems before them. She absent-mindedly moved her hand from her lap to the center console, brushing Oliver's hand already resting there. They both jumped at the sudden and unexpected contact but didn't turn to look at each other. When Oliver moved to allow Felicity to occupy the space, she stopped him by resting her hand on top of his and stroked fingers with her thumb. Oliver's breath caught in his throat for a moment before he relaxed into her ministrations, so painfully familiar but incredibly welcome.

For the time being it felt like they were normal again; as though they had picked up where they left off in their travels in the beginning of their relationship.

"Oliver—"  
"Felicity—"

The both began at once. They stopped and looked at each other, laughing.

"I missed this," Felicity admitted.  
"So much," agreed Oliver.  
"I was so afraid I'd ruined any chance of us being friends still, after everything," Felicity said in a shaky voice. Oliver looked shocked.  
"What do you mean, ruined?" he asked.  
"I let my pain and anger get the best of me," she said. "The way I treated you was so…cruel." She spat out the word and he could hear the shame in her voice. "I'm so sorry." She caught his eye and held his gaze for a moment, trying to will him to believe her. "During our…"wedding"…you just poured your heart out to me. Even after I was so snarky and sarcastic. I cried myself to sleep for a week over that." Oliver felt a pang strike his heart over the idea of the love of his life crying—over him—without comfort.

"Felicity, I could never fault you for the way you were feeling after everything with William. And then to force you to go through with that fake wedding to trap Cupid? I never really considered how hard it might be for you to have to put on that dress and walk down the aisle, even though it was killing me inside to do it. It wasn't fair to you. A few snarky remarks was the least I deserved that day," he assured her.

"But you were already feeling horrible," Felicity said. "You didn't deserve to be kicked while you were down."

"I appreciate that. But I still don't blame you for it," he promised. "And for what it's worth, watching you walk—actually walk down the aisle like you'd hoped you could—it was incredible!" He said proudly. "I am so in awe of your strength, Felicity. You are and always have been the strongest person I know." She smiled over at him and nodded.

"I am pretty bad ass, huh?" She grinned. Oliver chuckled, feeling more at peace than he had since the whole debacle with William had begun. Felicity squeezed his hand tightly as they pulled up to the hotel entrance. "I will go and get us checked in if you want to grab our bags?" She offered. He agreed and she headed inside to the lobby while he parked the car and unloaded the trunk.

He found her inside near the elevators looking guilty.  
"So…" she began, holding up a small white envelope adorned with the hotel's logo. "I told you I booked us rooms, plural, with points."  
"Yes, and?"  
"Yes. And…apparently they double-booked us. They only have one room, singular, available. One…king sized bed…room." She trailed off. Oliver swallowed thickly and nodded, biting down on his lips.  
"Okay. Well right now we have some bigger problems to solve so…we can worry about that one later." Felicity nodded and proceeded to push the up arrow for the elevator.  
"Roger that," she agreed.

They took the elevator to the top floor and Felicity let them into the room. Oliver set their bags on the single bed the room had to offer while Felicity set about gathering her makeup and the garment bag containing her dress for the evening.  
"I'm going to head down the hall for some ice," Oliver announced. Felicity nodded in acknowledgement and Oliver slipped the room key into his pocket before absconding into the hallway.

Felicity decided to use her time alone to change from her traveling clothes of jeans and a pink top into the long fuchsia gown she'd brought with for their evening at the casino. She'd be lying to herself if she said her choice in attire wasn't intentional. With its plunging neckline and the way it hugged her body in all the right places, the dress was absolutely meant for Oliver's eyes. She didn't want to admit it, but part of her still desperately yearned to take back everything she had said since the moment she set her engagement ring on their dining room table. The only thing keeping her from begging him to take her back was her pride. That and the burning desire she had to never be like her mother and stay with a man to her own detriment.  
Felicity was mulling this over as she removed her pants, top and bra and folded everything neatly, setting it atop the hotel room's desk. She was laying out the garment bag on the bed and leaning down to unzip it when she heard the door click open and Oliver yelp simultaneously. Felicity instinctively wrapped her arm around her chest and looked up to see him, red-faced and embarrassed with a hand covering his eyes.  
"I'm so sorry," Oliver blurted out. "I forgot the ice bucket. Just came back to grab it." Felicity swiped the bucket off the desk with her free hand and shoved it into the hand Oliver wasn't using to cover his face.  
"It's no big deal. It's not like you've never seen me—"  
"I'm just going to…go do the…do the thing with the ice," Oliver sputtered, turning quickly to exit. On the other side of the closed door he took a moment to compose himself, leaning against the wall and taking a deep breath. He willed himself to calm down and did his best to not focus on the image now burned into his eyelids every time he closed them. Felicity, standing, bent over the bed in nothing but a pair of black lace panties. It wasn't as though similar scenes hadn't been on a continuous loop in his head every night since shortly after their break-up. The loft was lonely, especially tossing and turning in the bed he had shared with her. The bunker wasn't any better. He wasn't above doing what he needed to do. But what he wasn't prepared for was just how hard seeing her that way again would hit him. Why had he allowed her to come with him? This was pure torture. He took one last deep breath and decided to make one last attempt at ice-gathering. He'd have to remember to knock before letting himself into the room when he got back this time.

….

It was nearly dawn when they arrived back outside their hotel room door. Oliver was beaten down, exhausted by his failure to grasp the magic lessons Esrin Fortuna had offered. Reliving all of his worst moments in vivid color had done absolutely nothing for his confidence either, though the following talk with Felicity at the casino's bar had been enlightening to say the least.

When she had stood before him after their fake wedding and told him she couldn't marry him she said it was because she didn't believe he could ever change. That she just knew he would always be unable to trust her and that he'd always revert back to the man he'd learnt to be on Lian Yu all those years ago. This woman who had spent years insisting she believed in him when no one else had. Who had fought for him and promised her life to him and taken a bullet to the spine simply because she loved him—she had finally given up on him. It truly was more than he could bear.

But then tonight in the casino's bar she admitted that she had been wrong. Her reaction had come from a place of deep, soul-crushing pain not unlike the pain he felt from losing her. She felt hurt and betrayed by the one person who never should have made her feel that way. She insisted that she knew now that people can change. That she believed he had a light within him that could overrun the darkness.

So despite the fear he was feeling about returning to Star City no wiser in the ways of magic than he had been when he left, he did feel something within him that hadn't been there before their trip to Hub City. Knowing that perhaps he was redeemable in Felicity's eyes after all made all the difference. It was this thought which occupied his mind as the two of them wearily let themselves into their room to shed their elegant eveningwear and don pajamas instead.

It was when Felicity padded out of the bathroom from brushing her teeth that they remembered they only had one bed between them.

"Go ahead," Oliver said, pulling the covers back as an invitation for Felicity to climb in. "I can make a bed on the floor over here with some extra blankets." Felicity almost looked hurt when she looked up at him, her blue eyes framed by her glasses once again.

"It's a big bed, Oliver. But if you aren't comfortable sharing I can—"

"Me? I just assumed you wouldn't want—"

"No! Not at all. Please," she insisted, the last word coming out as more of a soft plea than anything. She touched his bare arm gently and looked into his eyes. "Please?" Oliver nodded and Felicity took that as her cue to climb into the soft bed, sinking deeply into the down pillow with a heavy sigh. Oliver circled around to the other side of the bed and gingerly climbed under the covers himself, trying to keep a respectable distance so Felicity wouldn't feel uncomfortable. He made sure to lay with his back facing her, hugging the very edge of the huge bed they occupied. When he closed his eyes all he could see was the plunging neckline of her dress and the way she had moved in it that night, her hips swaying. Driving him mad in a way only she could. The image of her nearly nude and bent over this very bed replayed in his head next. Her smooth, milky skin marred slightly by several of her very own scars, courtesy of Damien Darhk.

Darhk. He had tried so hard to take from Oliver the only bit of light he had left in him. But in the end it was the darkness within Oliver himself that had driven her away from him.

"Oliver?" Felicity mumbled sleepily, reaching her hand out and pulling on his arm the way she used to after the shooting, when she was in need of his arms around her at night to keep the nightmares at bay. Oliver turned his body to face her and found her nose to nose with him, her head nearly resting on his pillow. Her beautiful eyes were cloudy with exhaustion.

"Hey, " he smiled softly. "You okay?" Felicity returned his sleepy smile and slowly reached to cup his cheek with her hand. Oliver closed his eyes and leaned into her touch. It hurt so much to have her right here and not have her, but he was so thankful for any little moment with her that he didn't want to do anything to jeopardize it.

"Talk to me," Felicity pleaded. "What happened down there tonight? When she used the magic on you."  
"I saw…Tommy, dying in the earthquake. And I watched my parents die all over again. I saw all the people I've killed…I saw you—" he stopped abruptly. He hadn't meant to share that one.  
"You saw me what?" Felicity asked, her brows furrowed and her eyes full of concern.  
"Setting the ring on the table," he whispered. "The last thing I saw was the same scene I've been reliving over and over again for weeks. It wasn't standing by in the ER helplessly while they tried to save you or you in Darhk's gas chamber or being threatened by the Count or any of the many, many times I've almost lost you to someone else. It was the time I lost you because I didn't fight for you. I could have prevented you from walking away and I didn't."  
"Oliver, nothing you could have done or said in that moment would have kept me there," Felicity said.  
"Maybe not…but I should have tried. I should have tried and I didn't. I should have come after you. I should have begged and pleaded and done whatever it took-"  
"I told you I needed space and you gave me space," Felicity insisted. "The problem was that you didn't fight for me before I left, not that you didn't chase me once I was gone." Oliver nodded.  
"You're right."  
"Oliver," she said, taking a deep breath as though she was ready to say something that had been weighing on her for a very long time. "I love you. I. Love. You." She emphasized each word. "And please note that each time I've told you that in the last few weeks it has been in present tense," she added. Oliver let out a shuddering sigh and cracked a small smile at hearing those words. "But you need to figure out how to trust. How to not be so afraid that the people you love will leave you. And I know that sounds counter-intuitive coming from me after I broke your heart and gave your ring back- but even though we aren't together right now I am still. Here. I will always be here when you need me… because I will always love you. Just like Laurel and Sara were there for you. And just like John and Thea will be there. When you're struggling with darkness we will be here. No matter what."

Felicity stroked Oliver's cheek with her thumb gently, but he didn't respond as he mulled over her words, his eyes closed for a moment. "You said you were sure that there was too much darkness in you to beat Damien Darhk. That I was your light, and I always had been. But I don't believe that," Felicity said, shaking her head. "I only ever saw in you what you couldn't see yourself." Oliver opened his eyes again and looked into Felicity's, which were brimming with unshed tears. "I never could have brought you to the light if it wasn't inside of you to begin with. You'd have already been too far gone to be saved if that was the case." Oliver reached up to cover Felicity's hand with his own, entwining their fingers against his cheek. "I guess what I'm trying to say here," she continued, "is that you are a good man. And despite this monster you think you are, there are people in your life who know you better than that. Who know you are so much more than that." She smiled, though a single tear escaped the corner of her eye and left a path down her cheek before plopping onto her pillow. "You are so loved, Oliver Queen. But you need to believe that for yourself before you have any chance of defeating Darhk."

"Now that," Oliver said with a chuckle, "Was a good speech." Felicity laughed and wiped away her tears before pulling him against her so his head could rest on her chest, her arms wrapping around him tightly and twisting in his hair. She planted a soft kiss on his forehead and he melted into her embrace. He finally knew what he had to do to defeat Damien Darhk. And as usual Felicity was his saving grace.


	2. Reparations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A week after the events of the finale, Oliver and Felicity finally have a moment to come to terms with how they're coping in the aftermath of defeating Darhk and saving the world.

"I didn't expect to see you here," Oliver said as he turned to see Felicity making her way across the debris-strewn floor to stand by his side.

"You thought I was leaving too?" She asked, an almost playful quality to her voice. Oliver felt his heart leap as he dared to hope that at least one member of Team Arrow might stay. "Not a chance," Felicity said softly. Oliver swallowed the lump forming in his throat and turned his gaze back to the four mannequins before him-Spartan, The Green Arrow, Speedy and The Black Canary's uniforms at rest in their shattered display cases. For now they would remain there. For now, Oliver would work to bring Star City hope in the light.

They stood side by side and silent for a long while, absorbing the fact that it was just the two of them now. Finally, Felicity broke the silence.

"So, Mr. Mayor, where do we begin?" Oliver pulled in a deep breath and released it on a sigh. "I mean, we can't really hire anyone to come clean this mess up," Felicity added, indicating the decimated lair with a sweeping gesture.

"Dinner first, I think," Oliver suggested. Felicity nodded.

"That sounds like as good a start as any," she agreed. Oliver offered his arm to her and she took a moment to tilt her head and study him before she slid her arm through his and allowed him to lead her out of the lair and up to the alley where a black town car was waiting for him.

They found themselves at Big Belly Burger and slid into a corner booth in the back of the restaurant. They both picked at their food quietly; Oliver sparing hellos and handshakes for his constituents when they stopped by the table to offer thanks or congratulations. Felicity looked on with pride and a bit of sadness, wishing selfishly that she could have him to herself for a moment. It seemed as though he was feeling the same way when he said,

"Hey, let's get out of here." Felicity nodded eagerly and dropped her tray on the counter before she followed him back to the car and slid into the backseat next to him.

"So, where exactly can we go?" She asked once they had pulled away from the burger joint. It had been nearly a week since Team Arrow had defeated Darhk and saved the world and since the loft was uninhabitable until the windows were fixed (and really, that wasn't somewhere she really wanted to return after all of the things that had happened there) and since she was no longer able to sleep in her office now that she had been removed from her position at Palmer Tech, Felicity had been staying in the guest room of John and Lyla's place.

Felicity sometimes felt like she was intruding, especially on those nights when the couple would whisper-fight when Lyla would plead with John for him to stay and John would insist that he couldn't. On those nights Felicity would scoop up baby Sara and retreat to the back room where she would read her books like Guess How Much I Love You or Chicka Chicka Boom Boom. Sometimes it was enough to drown out the noise of Sara's parents arguing through tears down the hall from them. Other times Felicity's voice would shake with tears of her own as she clutched the toddler to her chest and sang soothing lullabies like her mom used to sing to her after Donna and Noah would have their blowout fights.

When things were quiet and Sara was asleep, Felicity would work up the courage to return to the living room. On one or two nights she would stumble upon John and Lyla holding each other like their lives depended on it. The other nights she would find Lyla, alone on the couch with her head in her hands to hide her bloodshot eyes. On those nights Felicity would take a seat next to her friend and wrap an arm around her, neither woman speaking but both knowing exactly what couldn't be said.

The comfort was mutual. Out of the eight nights since Felicity had stayed in the Diggle-Michaels household, seven of them had Felicity waking up, screaming and sobbing in a cold sweat. Lyla would rush in and hold her, shushing her with soothing tones only a mother could master. Felicity would slowly come out of it while Lyla would talk her through it, asking which nightmare it had been this time.

"Havenrock," would be the answer most nights but once or twice it was a revival of her own shooting or her mother being threatened by Darhk. Once it was Oliver dying at the hands of Ra's Al Ghul. Lyla would talk her through it like someone who had a lot of experience with trauma, which she did, of course. She was a true soldier, after all, and Felicity was brand new to all of this.  
"You're safe, Felicity. Oliver is safe. Your mom and Captain Lance are safe. John and Sara and I are safe. We've made it through before and we will again." Felicity was aware enough to note the quality in Lyla's voice that said she was trying to convince herself of this as much as she was trying to convince Felicity.

When she finally stopped shaking and the exhaustion set in, Lyla would cover Felicity with her quilt and stroke her hair until sleep overcame her. The next morning, Felicity would be back to the chatty, witty, bubbly girl they all knew and loved, pushing the darkness deep down inside her. Refusing to allow it to overtake her in the daylight hours.

But Oliver knew her so much better than that. And as she sat beside him in the backseat of the Towncar, Oliver could see the pain and fear and sheer exhaustion that had taken her over. Since he had finally taken down Darhk, he had been so swept up in everything that had happened-becoming interim mayor, cleaning up the city, making speeches and doing interviews-that he hadn't had time to breathe, let alone take a moment to check in with Felicity. He knew she was in good hands with Lyla, if not so much with John, given his own emotional state following the events of the weeks prior. He had been on the receiving end of some texts from John, however, informing him that despite the facade Felicity had constructed, she was truly struggling in the aftermath of their latest endeavor.

Perhaps Oliver had avoided thinking about it up until now because once he allowed himself to think about it he would have to realize that Felicity's struggle was due to him pulling her into his orbit in the first place. He didn't want to see the darkness consume her like it had so many others he cared about-most recently Thea and John, but also Laurel and Sara and even Tommy.

But now, it was just the two of them. Alone for the first time since Felicity had insisted on joining him in Hub City to meet Esrin Fortuna. And instead of the fierce, strong, optimistic woman who had joined him on that journey, before him was a woman so overwhelmed with the grief she finally had a moment to feel, and it was hitting her hard. This woman who had been his rock for so long and through so much was crumbling under the weight of all she had to bear. And so even though Oliver had a few things he needed to work through himself, it was his turn to be there for her for once.

"Well, they gave me a house to use while I'm in office," Oliver suggested. "It's usually pretty quiet apart from some staff and security. I can have the driver take us there?" Felicity nodded, relieved to hear he hadn't been staying in the lair amongst the debris and broken glass. "Besides, I think we need to do some talking," he added. Felicity's forehead wrinkled in concern and confusion, unsure of exactly what he meant by that, but she didn't respond. Instead she leaned in to rest her head against his shoulder, closing her eyes and allowing herself to rest for a moment, feeling safe for the first time in days now that she was by his side. Oliver pressed a kiss to the top of her head and closed his own eyes as well.

Twenty minutes later the car pulled up in front of a large, red brick mansion with a beautifully manicured lawn. Large white pillars framed the dark green door they approached after they climbed out of the car so the driver could go park it. Oliver let them in and allowed Felicity to step inside first.

"Wow, I bet you feel right at home in this place," she said, gesturing at the grand staircase and the high ceilings of the foyer. "I mean, it's no Queen mansion, but it definitely beats an army cot in the basement of an abandoned building, am I right?"

"It's…" Oliver struggled to choose the right word, finally settling on "...lonely." Felicity spun around to face him, her expression somewhere between concern and pain, but with a forced smile as she tried to hide it.

"I thought you said there was staff and security-all kinds of company. Maybe a hot secretary?" Oliver shook his head at her sadly.

"You don't need to be funny for me, Felicity," he told her. "I know what you're trying to do. And I get it, I do, but…It's kind of like how you were all jokes and smiles while you were moving out?" he trailed off as her expression went from worried to defensive. Not wanting to scare her out of a real conversation he changed his tactic. "Look, what I really wanted is to talk about you. How you're handling everything."

"What do you mean?"

"Felicity, Diggle still texts me," Oliver told her. "He told me you've been having nightmares and that you're doing all you can to pretend it isn't affecting you when it really is." Felicity's face changed again, this time to something resembling defeat as her shoulders dropped and her gaze fell to the marble-tiled floor. Oliver closed the gap between them and tilted her chin up with this finger until she was looking at him again. "I'm really glad you and Lyla have each other right now because with John re-enlisting it sounds like she really needs you too."

Felicity swallowed the lump forming in her throat and reached up to push Oliver's hand away from her face before taking several steps backwards.

"I'm not doing this, Oliver," she said.

"Felicity you can't just pretend-"

"No! You are seriously the absolute last person on the planet who should be telling me how to deal with this-this-whatever this is!" She exploded, her voice bouncing off the high ceilings and marble floor. A member of Oliver's security team came around the corner to check in and Oliver held up a hand and shook his head. The guard nodded curtly and returned to wherever he had come from. Oliver's gaze softened when he turned back to Felicity, despite the glare she was now directing towards him.

"Nightmares, flashbacks, panic attacks-this is PTSD, Felicity," Oliver said softly. "It's exactly what I've been dealing with since the island. And it's nothing to be ashamed of," he insisted. "It happens to a lot of people who have faced serious trauma. And between being kidnapped a half-dozen times and being threatened and getting shot and facing the end of the world and the end of-" Oliver stopped short but Felicity supplied the word, so quiet he almost missed it.

"Us?" Oliver nodded.

"Us." Felicity met his gaze again and held it for a moment before he continued. "I know you're trying to be strong and pretend it isn't eating you alive, but you don't have to be strong all the time. It's okay to feel." She scoffed and shook her head, a scowl on her face.

"That's rich, coming from you," she said, trying to sound angry but sounding shaken instead. Oliver nodded, accepting that he sounded like a hypocrite.

"You're better than me, Felicity. You always have been," he said simply. Felicity's lower lip trembled and her brimming eyes betrayed her as the tears began to fall.

"You have so much going on," she blurted out, angrily rubbing her eyes on her jacket sleeve. "You don't need me here right now, doing this. You've got mayor-ing to do and I'm just-" Oliver cut her off by pulling her into his arms and holding her against him so tightly that she couldn't have moved if she wanted to. Not that she wanted to.

"I always need you," he whispered against her ear. "Talk to me, please," he pleaded. "I need to know you're okay." She pulled back just enough to look up at him, knowing he wouldn't stop asking until she talked.

"I'm not," she admitted. "I'm really, really not. But I know I will be...eventually. I promise. And when I'm ready to talk, I will. It's just a lot to process right now and currently my head is still stuck on 'I killed twenty thousand people with a click of a mouse'...or typing a code or pressing a button or whatever and I know you've got quite an impressive kill count but that kind of number is just a little bit overwhelming to think of and so yes, it's easier right now to pretend I'm not a mass murderer if it means getting through the day." The words spilled out of her against her will and Oliver placed his hands on her face, forcing her to look at him, trying to ground her.

"Felicity, you are not...you saved so many...you can't let yourself…" Oliver struggled to find the right words to comfort her, but he himself understood the guilt she was feeling, and he'd never really found a way to talk himself out of that. Maybe she was right and he wasn't the best person to handle the job of helping her sort through her emotions about all of this. But at least he could listen while she got it off her chest. "Keep talking," he demanded. She looked at him like he was crazy for wanting her to continue her rambling diatribe but he nodded, encouraging her.

"I convinced you to leave our perfect little life in the suburbs and all it got me was a wheelchair, a cancelled wedding, a murdered friend, the shame of destroying both your family's and Ray's company and an understanding of what you've been feeling since the moment I met you. How do you do this? How do you keep going? All I want is to curl into a ball and close my eyes and never wake up again." By now she was frantic and sobbing but Oliver was still holding her as she searched his face for the answers she so desperately sought. "I can't do this...I can't do this…" She leaned into his chest and buried her face there, trying to catch her breath and calm herself down. He rubbed her back and let her cry until she couldn't any longer.

"I'm so sorry, Felicity," he said once she had mostly regained her composure. "I shouldn't have pushed you to talk about it when you weren't ready." Felicity shook her head.

"No, you're right. I haven't really let it out and I needed to. I already feel like some of the weight has lifted." She swiped her sleeve across her blotchy, wet face. "If only I had a job with insurance so I could maybe see a professional," she half-heartedly chuckled.

"Well, I hear the new mayor is in need of an executive assistant," Oliver said nonchalantly. "I could put in a good word for you, if you'd like. I'll leave out the part about how you don't get coffee, though. You'd be completely unhireable." For the first time in weeks Felicity smiled a genuine smile.

"I'd like that," she said sincerely.

"You can start whenever you feel up to it," Oliver said, tucking her hair behind her ear on one side and letting his thumb absentmindedly trace circles on her cheek.

"Thank you," she sighed. "For everything."

"No, thank you. For staying and fighting. For always being here for me. You're amazing."

"You're not too terrible yourself, Mr. Mayor," Felicity smirked.

"That is seriously going to take some getting used to," Oliver sighed.

"So, is there more to this place than the foyer?" Felicity asked. "Maybe a couch to sit on or a bathroom I could use?" Oliver nodded.

"Of course. Right this way. I'll grab us some drinks while you're in there."

Felicity found Oliver in the sitting room after she used the bathroom to splash some water on her face and freshen up. He had a bottle of one of her favorite red wines and two glasses, one of which he handed to her as she took a seat on the overstuffed sofa near the fireplace.

"Hmm, a toast, I think," she said, raising her glass to him as he took a seat next to her. "To Mayor Queen and all he has in store for Star City," she smiled proudly. Oliver raised his as well and said,

"To new beginnings and doing anything possible to make amends and reparations." Felicity nodded her agreement, his double meaning not lost on her. They tapped their glasses together and each took a sip.

"So now that I've had my turn," Felicity said after a moment. "Tell me how you're handling all of this." She waved her hand in front of her. Oliver set his glass down on the end table and moved closer to her, pulling her legs across his lap so she was facing him.

"Let me try something new," he said abruptly.

"Hmm?" Felicity asked, tilting her head in that adorable way he'd loved from the moment he'd seen her do it in her IT cubical.

"Transparency and honesty," he said, reaching for her hands. She obliged him and nodded, looking surprised, as he continued. "I'm overwhelmed and still feeling conflicted. About becoming mayor, killing Darhk, John and Thea leaving the team…I'm not sleeping any better in this ridiculous king-sized bed than I was on the cot in the lair. And I'm terrified about the future and wondering whether or not I can actually do anything to help this city in the light as Oliver or in the dark as the Green Arrow." He rambled until he was out of breath and then looked to Felicity to gauge her reaction.

"Wow. This must be what talking to me is like," she replied. "Is that all?"

"No." He shook his head. "I keep going over and over all those moments in the lair when we thought we weren't going to regain control of Rubicon. When we thought we were going to die and John and Lyla and your mom and Lance and everyone was making plans on spending their last moments together. And I keep kicking myself because in all of those moments we had together, all of those opportunities I had to tell you-I almost let us die without-" Felicity surged forward and pressed her lips against Oliver's, cutting him off mid-confession. Her arms snaked around his neck as she clambered into his lap, never breaking their connection. Once the initial shock had worn off, Oliver's fingers tangled in her hair, as their kiss grew more heated and needy by the second. When Felicity's hips started to roll against him, Oliver somehow found the clarity of mind to pull back from the kiss and hold her at arm's length, giving them both a moment to calm down before speaking.

"Felicity, I-" he hesitated, seeing her face fall and a red flush of embarrassment replace the flush of passion in her cheeks.

"Frack! I'm so sorry! I thought you were going to say you wished you would have kissed me during-I mean when we were-I'm so sorry!" Felicity moved to scramble off of his lap, but he caught her by the arms before she could move.

"I was! I swear to you that is exactly where I was going with this, please don't-you don't ever need to apologize to me for-for this." His voice was panicked and frantic as he rushed to reassure her, desperate not to ruin the moment. Felicity relaxed into his grip and his voice calmed again. "I just know how vulnerable you must be feeling right now," he explained. "And I don't want to rush this and have you regret it. I'm not sure I can handle losing you again, especially when things are finally starting to feel normal between us again." He felt the prick of tears sting his eyes until Felicity's hands moved to cup his cheeks and her eyes met his.

"I love you," she said in a steady, even tone.

"I love you too," Oliver replied. "Which is why I think we need to take our time fixing this. As incredibly difficult as that is going to be for me," he added. "I need to prove to you that I can be who you need me to be. And you need to be in a better headspace before you decide you're ready for this." He could tell she really wanted to argue with him over this, so he leaned forward and pressed a chaste, sweet kiss to her lips before she could speak. He felt her resistance melt away and after a moment she removed herself from his lap to reclaim her previous seat on the couch. She took a moment to consider him, uncharacteristically silent as she sorted through her thoughts. Finally she said,

"Fine. You're probably, definitely right and even though I hate you for it-I love you. Because you stop me from doing stupid things. I just…" she trailed off for a moment. "I really, really miss you." Oliver pulled her over so she could rest her head on his chest.

"I miss you too," he said. "So much." The two of them were silent for a moment before Felicity tilted her chin up so she could look at him.

"So...I can start work on Monday?"

"Absolutely, Miss Smoak. I look forward to it."

"No coffee," she warned, pointing a finger at him.

"No coffee," he promised. "Never coffee."


	3. Some Things Are Meant to Be

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ch 3: Felicity and Oliver are engaged again and she has a pressing question for Quentin Lance before the wedding.

She had tried. Really, _really_ tried to talk her mother out of this. She begged and pleaded. She insisted that it didn’t make sense. She said it was ridiculous to even consider it. But Felicity Smoak came by her stubbornness honestly, and when Donna Smoak (now Donna Lance, actually) had her mind made up about something, she stood firm like a lighthouse in a hurricane.  


So that was why, nearly two years after the first time, Felicity found herself holding her breath and riddled with anxiety as she walked into her second engagement party. She was arm in arm with Oliver, who, while he had retained his more charming traits, was vastly different in so many ways from the man she’d been engaged to the first time around. Only after he had proved to her over nearly a year that he could be the man she needed him to be, had she agreed once more to be his wife.  
“Huh, no feathers this time,” Oliver noted. Felicity released the breath she’d been holding as they walked into the restaurant that had been rented out for the evening’s event.  
“It’s not as pink, either,” she added, sounding incredibly relieved at the change in color scheme this time around. A squeal pierced the air, alerting them that Donna had noticed their entrance. She swooped in and gathered them in her arms, jumping up and down in excitement. Now that Donna and Quentin were living in Coast City, she didn’t get to spend as much time with them anymore. And while old eye-rolling habits died hard, after all they had been through together in the past several years, Felicity was truly happy to see her mother.  
“Everything looks incredible, Donna,” Oliver grinned when she finally released them from her iron embrace and allowed them to breathe again.  
“Oh, come on Ollie! We’re practically family now! You can call me mom!” Donna insisted, playfully punching him on the arm and then giving the two of them one last enthusiastic squeeze. When she turned away to tend to her hostess duties, Oliver and Felicity shared a sideways glance and a head tilt, silently mouthing “Ollie?” to each other simultaneously.  
“Well that’s new,” Felicity scoffed. Oliver laughed a bit and took her hand.  
“We should probably mingle,” he said. Felicity begrudgingly huffed her agreement, but cheered up immensely when she found Thea and Curtis perusing the snacks in the corner. 

An hour or so later, once all the hellos had been said, Felicity stepped outside for a breath of fresh air onto the patio. She found Quentin sitting on a bench there, watching the festivities through the wall to wall windows.  
“Hey there, stranger,” he greeted her as she took a seat near him on the bench. “Enjoying yourself?” Felicity nodded.  
“It’s great!”  
“Your mom sure knows how to throw a party,” he laughed.  
“Tell me about it. You should have seen my 18th birthday. I still have nightmares about that penis cake!” They laughed together and Felicity added “Oh God--please don’t let her plan my bachelorette party!”  
“I will do my best to deter her, but you know your mom,” he said. Felicity nodded and sighed. She was definitely doomed to another round of Pin the Junk on the Hunk, whether she liked it or not. 

The two of them sat in comfortable silence for awhile, watching the guests through the windows and enjoying the peace of the empty patio. In the past several years the two of them had become pretty close, especially after Donna and Quentin had moved in together and had taken to inviting her for dinner every weekend. She’d also taken a few trips to Coast City to see them and, while Donna enjoyed sleeping in, Felicity and Quentin were early risers and had shared many a cup of coffee and early morning conversation.  
Felicity had been the first to know when Quentin had decided to propose to Donna. He’d taken her to dinner one night, just the two of them, and asked for her blessing. Felicity had jumped up and wrapped her arms around his neck with a squeal of delight.  
“Like mother, like daughter,” he’d said with a grin. 

Several months later, when they decided on a whim to go to the courthouse to get married, Felicity had been their witness and then sent them off on a honeymoon to Bali with her heart soaring for them. They had both endured so much and she was so happy they’d found each other. It was this thought that occupied her mind as they sat in silence together outside the party.  
“Can I ask you something?” She finally said, causing Quentin to turn to look at her.  
“Of course,” he said sincerely. Felicity took a deep breath and reached for his hands. With a slight hesitation, out of surprise at the intimate gesture, he took hers in return.  
“It makes me so happy to see you and my mom together. I know it was weird at first, but it just seems so right now. She deserves a good man--and you are one of the best I know.” Quentin smiled at this. “And you--you’ve lost so much. Seeing you happy with her is so wonderful.” She paused for a moment, thinking hard about how to formulate what she was trying to ask. “I was wondering...I mean, I totally understand if you don’t want to, so no pressure, but...since Noah has disappeared again--not that I probably would have asked him anyway because it’s not like he’s ever really been--whatever. It would mean so much to me if you would maybe...if you want to...on my wedding day...I just don’t really have anyone who could--” she trailed off again, speaking in sentence fragments as usual.  
“Felicity,” Quentin began, interrupting her rambling, “Are you asking me to--to give you away?” He sounded slightly shocked and incredibly touched.  
“I mean, like I said, if you don’t want to or you feel like it’s too weird I completely understand it’s just--you’re like my “stepdad” now and since you didn’t get a chance to for Laurel or Sara I just thought maybe you--”  
“Felicity,” he cut her off again, squeezing her hands to get her attention. She stopped and held her breath, looking up at him and biting her lip. “I would be so _incredibly_ honored to walk you down the aisle on your wedding day.” His eyes were glistening with tears and a smile blossomed across Felicity’s face.  
“Really?” she asked, incredulously.  
“Really. It means so much that you thought to ask me,” he insisted. Felicity lunged forward and enveloped him in a hug, nearly choking him with her enthusiasm. Quentin chuckled and returned her embrace, remembering with a touch of sadness the last time he’d held Laurel and Sara this way.  
“Thank you,” she said once she released him. He smiled at her.  
“Thank you,” he replied. “You know, though…” Suddenly his face changed from joy to concern when a realization dawned on him. Felicity mirrored his concern before he continued. “Just when I finally thought I’d avoided Oliver Queen marrying one of my daughters...he pulls me back in.” Felicity let out a loud, appreciative laugh. The thought hadn’t even occured to her, but he was entirely right. Years of trying his best to keep Oliver Queen away from his daughters and without even realizing it he’d walked right back into it.  
“I totally understand if you feel the need to playfully threaten,” Felicity said through her laughter. “Or--not so...playfully...threaten.”  
“Oh believe me, there will be threatening,” he said. “Lots and lots of threatening.” They laughed until they heard the sliding patio door open and heard Oliver’s voice across the way.  
“There you are!” he said, cocking his head a bit at the sight of Felicity and Quentin with an arm around each other, catching their breath from laughing so hard.  
“Oh hey!” Felicity called, releasing Quentin and walking over to wrap an arm around Oliver’s waist.  
“Sorry to interrupt...but they wanted some photos,” he informed them. “Donna was getting worried because she couldn’t find you.”  
“We were just having a chat about the wedding, but I can head in now,” Felicity assured him. Quentin stood to join them near the door, looking Oliver up and down for a moment.  
“You and I,” he said soberly with a slight edge to his voice, poking Oliver’s chest with his forefinger as he spoke. “You and I have some business to discuss later.” Felicity tried her hardest to hide the smile on her face, but Quentin caught it and winked at her before heading inside to find his wife before she could get too upset with his long absence from the party.  
“What...was that about?” Oliver asked, his face lined with confusion and worry.  
“Oh nothing,” Felicity said nonchalantly. “Just that your future father-in-law has some thoughts about our marriage that he’d like to share with you.” She pecked his cheek and took off to find her mother, leaving Oliver grasping with that realization in her wake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I, much like Felicity, grew up without my father around. When I was about ten my mom started dating a man who would become my pseudo-dad. Even after they split up during my last year of high school, I always called him dad. When I got married 4 years ago, I asked him to walk me down the aisle and he was thrilled that I did. This past weekend I got a call that he had passed away. Though we haven't been very close in the past few years, he was still there for me for a lot of years. This one is for him <3


	4. Untitled

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Whiskey-Drunk-Felicity was angry. She was stuck on Loud Voice Mode and her ‘fracks’ turned to ‘fucks’. Oliver was legitimately scared shitless of Whiskey-Drunk-Felicity; all five and a half feet, one hundred pounds of her. 
> 
> Post Season 4

“Felicity?” Oliver called out as he made his way into the bunker. A month or so had passed since it had been annihilated by Darhk’s ghosts and, since Oliver and Felicity were all that remained of Team Arrow, they had slowly been piecing it back together in the evenings.

Large crime had been nearly non-existent since they had taken HIVE out of the picture. The little bit that was still occurring was rarely more than a petty theft or a domestic disturbance. It was nothing the SCPD couldn’t handle, so it freed The Green Arrow up quite a bit. And considering all of the work he had to do as mayor, Oliver was grateful that the majority of his evenings were now spent sweeping up broken glass and reassembling furniture, taking a break to sit on the floor across from Felicity to share some greasy take-out.

After they had shared a long conversation and a heated kiss in his new living room at the Mayoral Mansion, as Felicity had come to call it, they had returned to a semi-comfortable friendship. The kiss was never mentioned again, and both of them had been doing their best since then to keep a respectable distance from each other.

Though he had offered Felicity a place at the mayor’s office as his executive assistant, he found that she had been a much better fit for the Chief of Staff position that opened after the first guy had quit in a huff, unhappy with Oliver’s interim appointment. Since Felicity was such a natural born leader, the remaining staff warmed up to her immediately. It made Oliver incredibly proud to see how happy it made her to finally be helping people in the light of day. Her smile was a less-rare sight these days, and it warmed his heart to see it. And though they were frequently the talk of the office, it made no difference to Oliver. It’s not like the rumors hadn’t been flying at Queen Consolidated during his brief and disastrous time as CEO. As long as they were a team, they could say anything they wanted and it wouldn’t even make him bat an eye. 

Oliver put down the pizza he was carrying and did a once-over of the bunker. Felicity’s sweater was hanging on the back of her chair, but she was nowhere to be found. He made his way to the workout room and then the bathroom, but neither turned up any answers. 

Finally he found her--in the small alcove with the cot he had slept on at various points in his Arrow career. She was sitting cross-legged on the floor, intensely focused on something on her tablet. Next to her was an open bottle of whiskey--the one Diggle had left behind--and her cheeks were a bright red. She didn’t look up, so he took a moment to just look at her. 

Oliver knew from previous experiences that whiskey and Felicity were a dangerous combination. In fact, Felicity and any alcohol had the potential to go downhill quickly, but whiskey was on a whole different level.

Tequila-Drunk-Felicity was an out of control, sexually insatiable mess of sloppy kisses and wandering hands and reminders of “Felicity we cannot have sex in the booth at Denny’s at three in the morning. We’ve talked about this.” 

Vodka-Drunk-Felicity loved everyone and everything. She was all table-top dancing, belting 80s tunes off-key at the top of her lungs and hugging anyone lucky enough to be in her vicinity. Vodka-Drunk-Felicity was the definition of White Girl Wasted.

Wine-Drunk-Felicity was Oliver’s least favorite Drunk-Felicity. Wine-Buzzed-Felicity was just fine. She’d just get tired and snuggly and fall asleep on his lap on the couch. Wine- _ Drunk _ -Felicity was insecure. Wine-Drunk-Felicity needed lots of reassuring that Oliver loved her and would never abandon her. Wine-Drunk-Felicity broke Oliver’s heart saying things like “I’ve seen the girls you were with before me. You and I both know that ‘Ollie’ never would have looked twice at me. Or he would have slept with me and then never called again. So remind me again why things have changed?” And sometimes, after her injury, she’d repeat her concerns from when he’d been absent during her time at the hospital; “We never said for better or for worse. You don’t have to stay. You could have anyone in the world--someone whole and not damaged like me. I’d understand.” Yeah, Wine-Drunk-Felicity was definitely  _ not _ Oliver’s favorite. 

 

Whiskey-Drunk-Felicity however? Whiskey-Drunk-Felicity was  _ angry.  _ She was stuck on Loud Voice Mode and her ‘fracks’ turned to ‘fucks’. Oliver was legitimately  _ scared shitless _ of Whiskey-Drunk-Felicity; all five and a half feet, one hundred pounds of her. 

 

So it made sense that when Oliver stumbled upon Felicity halfway through a bottle of Elijah Craig that he considered just how quietly he might be able to sneak back out of the bunker. Because it had been awhile since he’d seen Felicity drink whiskey. And boy, had he ever done a hell of a lot she could be mad about since then. Just as he turned to make a break for it, she looked up and caught him staring. 

“Ol’ver,” she slurred, sounding surprised. He held his breath for a moment, considering her before responding. 

“Heeeeeyyyyy,” he finally said. She cocked her head at him. That was the greeting he used right before he said things like “I flooded the bathroom”, “I invited your mom over for dinner” and  “We need to get married” a week after they’d broken up.  “I brought pizza?” he offered, his statement sounding more like a question. 

“What kind?” She asked, getting to her feet unsteadily. 

“Mushroom and olives?” He knew it was her favorite, hopefully that would win him some points. Felicity nodded her approval and slung an arm around his waist to get her balance back. It was the first time they’d touched since she’d kissed him a few weeks ago and it made Oliver’s breath catch in his throat as he walked her out to where he’d left the pizza. 

“Thanks,” she said as she folded a slice in half and brought it to her mouth. Oliver cautiously sat next to her and watched her. 

“I see you found Dig’s whiskey,” he noted apprehensively.

“Yeah, it’s been awhile since I’ve had whiskey, but I could use a drink after this morning,” she said, catching a rogue olive as it rolled off of her napkin. 

“I know,” Oliver said. “I remember quite vividly the last time. We had to buy new plates.” Felicity’s mouth made an O shape as it dawned on her. 

“I had every right to be mad that night,” she insisted. “You were being a stubborn, pig-headed, dick. Honestly. You had a head injury and you were trying to sneak out behind my back to go on patrol. If it kept you from getting killed it was worth a few dishes. Besides those blue ones were hideous anyway. I was doing Thea a favor.” Oliver grinned. “It’s probably best that Dig didn’t keep tequila down here instead,” she said with a shrug, returning to her meal. “We both remember what that stuff does to me. I know the waitress at Denny’s remembers anyway...Though maybe it would have been a good thing. It’s been months. A girl has needs.” Oliver didn’t respond, which made Felicity look up at him, biting her lip. “Sorry...my brain to mouth filter is questionable at best, even without alcohol.” 

“I know,” he said, with a small grin. ”It’s one of my favorite things about you...but yeah...tequila is probably a really super bad idea right now. I don’t know if I could say no to Tequila-Felicity. It was hard enough a few weeks ago. That would just make it harder.” Felicity burst into laughter and Oliver looked at her incredulously. “What? What’d I say?” She slapped his shoulder appreciatively and laughed louder.

“Oh my God you’re turning into me!” she said. Oliver thought about the words he’d just said and facepalmed. “I think that was your first unintentional double entendre! This deserves a toast!” She insisted, running to the back room to grab the whiskey. “I am so proud,” she said, taking a swig and handing him the bottle. “Seriously.” He took a drink and set the bottle back down, enjoying the warmth that spread through his chest and to his fingertips. Maybe this wouldn’t be as bad as he’d anticipated. 

“It was probably inevitable,” Oliver said with a shrug. Felicity nodded.

“Truth. It’s about time I started rubbing off on you--” she caught herself. “I mean! Not rubbing on you like--rubbing against you or--just like--leaving my mark on you! Oh wow, that’s so much worse. I am going to stop talking now.” Her face was crimson as she buried it in her hands. Oliver was now the one laughing at her embarrassment. He’d truly missed how cute she was when she lost control of her words like that. 

“You know the journal I write in sometimes?” Oliver asked her. She nodded and looked up at him, finding him smiling in adoration at her. “I have a whole section of it dedicated to my favorite Felicity-isms. That one is definitely going in the book tonight.” She looked shocked.

“You  _ what _ ?!” She sputtered, sounding slightly amused and slightly mortified. 

“Oh yeah,” he said. “Everything from “You’re really cute, too bad you’re dead” to “It feels really good having you inside of me” ...among others. While we were together the well ran a bit dry since anytime you said something dirty to me you actually meant it, so thank you for giving me some material again.” Felicity was still smiling, but was shaking her head at him. 

“I cannot believe you have been recording my worst moments in your journal.”

“Worst?” he asked. “Or best?”   
“You are ridiculous,” she said. Oliver nodded his agreement and they both went silent for a few moments, eating the last of their dinner. Suddenly Oliver spoke up.

“You know, if you wanted to, you could read it,” he offered. He wasn’t sure why he thought now was a good time to bring this up, all of a sudden, but his brain to mouth filter also seemed to be inhibited by the alcohol they were sharing. 

“Read what?” Felicity asked. 

“My journal,” he replied. She raised an eyebrow at him. “I really meant what I said that night--I want to be completely honest and transparent with you from now on. What better way than to let you into my head to see for yourself?” 

“Oliver, that’s your  _ journal. _ ” Felicity said. “That’s your own private stuff. It wouldn’t feel right.” Oliver shook his head at her.

“If I’m ever going to prove to you that I can be a good partner--that I can be a good  _ husband _ . \--” Felicity flinched at the word. “Then I need to open up to you. You deserve to know everything about me. No more secrets. Ever.” 

“Oliver--” Felicity began. He saw her tense up and get a bit defensive. 

“I know, I know,” he interrupted. “It’s way too soon to be talking about that stuff. But it’s going to take a lot of time and a lot of rebuilding. I just want you to know that my intentions and my feelings have never changed. I still want what I wanted a few months ago. No matter how long it takes.” Felicity didn’t reply right away, but her gaze softened a bit. 

“Okay,” she finally said, softly. “I’ll read it if you’re sure that’s what you want.”

“I’m positive,” he insisted. “I’ll bring it tomorrow.” Suddenly, Felicity’s brow furrowed as she mulled over Oliver’s words and realized something.

“Hey--what did you say the first quote from me was in your book again?” Oliver thought for a moment before he remembered what he’d said. 

“Uh, something about playing doctor with me?” he said, unsure.

“No--you said something about “You’re cute. Too bad you’re dead.” I never said that to you--I only knew after-the-island-alive-you.” Oliver suddenly remembered where the quote had come from. It was before he’d ever even set foot in her cubicle. It was from the time he’d come back to Starling CIty with Amanda Waller. When he was still meant to be stranded on Lian Yiu. He’d never told her that he’d seen her in his mother’s office that night, admiring the photo of him.

 

Frack.

 


End file.
